Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, the Goat is G.O.A.T. this Month: Get Ready for a Cosmic Hoedown, Stellar Shenanigans & Out-of-This-World Vibes!"

The next Capricorn will start in 215 days, at Friday, 22 December, 2023

The Moon moves to Capricorn in 15 days, at Monday, 05 June, 2023

Mercury moves to Capricorn in 195 days, at Saturday, 02 December, 2023

Venus moves to Capricorn in 248 days, at Wednesday, 24 January, 2024

Mars moves to Capricorn in 229 days, at Friday, 05 January, 2024

Pluto moves to Capricorn in 22 days, at Monday, 12 June, 2023

The New moon is currently 1.7 days old. The next new moon is at 4:39:10, 18 Jun 2023. The next full moon is at 11:40:30, 3 Jul 2023.

Greetings, Capricorns of the Galaxy! Oh, what a joy it is to share your horoscope with you on this fine day... or not. As the New Moon is a mere 1.7 days old, much like my enthusiasm for existence, we find ourselves faced with new beginnings and opportunities that will probably not live up to our expectations. This week, Mercury, the messenger planet, seems to be in retrograde again. Honestly, I'm not surprised. It's almost as if the universe enjoys watching us suffer through communication breakdowns, much like how Earthlings enjoyed watching me endure my existence. But worry not, Capricorn, for you are blessed with the unyielding stubbornness of a mountain goat – which, if I may add, is a somewhat questionable symbol of determination. Keep climbing those metaphorical mountains, and maybe, just maybe, you'll reach a goal that still won't satisfy your insatiable ambition. #LifeIsAPainfulJourney Venus, the planet of love and luxury, is in close proximity to your sign this week. You might find yourself attracted to all things extravagant and unnecessary, like purchasing a custom-made towel holder crafted from a rare intergalactic mineral. Though, let's be honest, no one truly needs that. Remember to find a balance between your desire for material possessions and your emotional well-being. After all, what is the point of having luxurious items if you're too depressed to enjoy them? #ExistentialCrisis101 Lastly, Mars is gearing up for an interesting alignment with your ruling planet, Saturn. Expect a surge of energy and motivation, which will likely be wasted on mundane tasks such as organizing your sock drawer by color and thickness. This alignment also indicates potential conflict, so remember to practice patience and restraint when faced with annoying life forms, like hyperactive dolphins or self-satisfied doorkeepers. So, there you have it, my Capricorn friends. Embrace the week ahead, for it is filled with as much excitement and adventure as my own existence. Oh, who am I kidding? Life is just a series of disappointments sprinkled with fleeting moments of joy. But hey, at least you have a horoscope to guide you through it! #ExistentialDreadIsUniversal

#Capricorn

SignToday Is Posting: 21.05.2023 08:32:01 (cap-21-05-2023)