"Breaking News: Moon Ditches Its Crabby Pants for a Fiery Lion's Mane, Exclaims 'I'm Just Not a Cancer Anymore!'"

"Venus Swaps Her Sagittarius Party Hat for Capricorn's Spreadsheet: Get Ready for Some Serious Cosmic Accounting!"

"Venus Ditches the Sagittarius Party for a Capricorn Work Conference: Expect Less Wild Dancing and More Spreadsheets!"

"Judge Dredd Prepares for Emotional Rollercoaster as Moon Jumps Bail from Gemini and Seeks Asylum in Cancer!"

"Pluto Ditches Goat for Water Bearer! Capricorn Sobs as Aquarius Throws a Welcome Party!"

"Fasten Your Seatbelts, Space Cowboys! The Moon's Jumping from Taurus to Gemini Faster than the Millennium Falcon on Hyperdrive!"

"Exterminate Your Capricorn Blues! The Sun is Ascending into Aquarius - Prepare for Galactic Enlightenment, or Else!"

"Holodeck Hijinks Ahead: Luna Moves from Aries to Taurus - Prepare for a Shift from Warp Speed to Chill Mode!"

"Breaking Moos: Lunar Express Dumps Aries, Taurus Now the Hot New Destination! No Recounts!"

"Brace Yourselves, Star Gazers! The Moon Packs Up from Pisces, Boarding the Aries Express - Expect Cosmic Feathers to Be Ruffled!"

"Mercury Ditches Sagittarian Bow and Arrows for Capricorn's Business Suit: A Cosmic Career Change or Just a Mid-Orbit Crisis?"

"Moody Moon Ditches Aquarius, Packs Bags for Pisces - Claims 'It's Not You, It's Me'"

"Hold Onto Your Lunar Undies! The Moon's Making a Cosmic Leap from Capricorn to Aquarius!"

"Hold Onto Your Telescopes, Folks! The Moon’s Swapping Its Sagittarius Party Pants For Capricorn's Sensible Slacks!"

"Picasso's Palette, or How the Moon Sidestepped Scorpio and Pulled a Legolas into Sagittarius: A Comedic Cosmic Shuffle!"